Are These Mistakes Keeping You Awake?
The Body
Stop replaying old choices at night. Discover how self-forgiveness, nervous system care, morning light, and completing stress cycles transform mistakes into better sleep and self-love.
Mistakes—real or imagined—have a way of circling back. I often hear my clients describe these memories as scenes from an old movie playing quietly in the background.
They don’t always notice the reel spinning, yet it keeps looping, night after night. At first, revisiting these moments can give the brain a minor dopamine hit, but eventually it becomes as irritating as a mosquito buzzing in the dark. These involuntary recollections disrupt sleep, stir up tension, and leave the emotional equivalent of itchy welts that linger for days or even months.
But there’s another way to see these moments. By gently exploring our past choices, we can transform them into lessons that bring peace, soften racing thoughts, and invite more love and gratitude into our lives.
Eight Common Mistakes That May Prevent Sleep
1. Seeing Rest as Unproductive
The old saying “I’ll rest when I’m dead” has shaped entire generations. Society teaches us to stay busy, push harder, and keep going—often at the expense of our sleep and well-being.
But rest isn’t a luxury anymore; it’s maintenance. We would never leave a car running until it runs out of gas, so why do we treat ourselves that way?
Rest comes in many forms. It can look like sleep, stillness, creativity, reflection, movement, or mindful pauses. When you rest, you reset. Your body gathers more energy, your mind clears, and your spirit realigns.
2. Ignoring the Nervous System
A dysregulated nervous system is like a car with a faulty electrical system—it may still run, but eventually it will break down. Your body sends signals long before true burnout arrives—signals we commonly ignore, like headaches, anxiety, and tossing and turning at night.
Your breath is one of the simplest, most accessible tools you have. This is why the first thing I teach my clients is how to connect to their breath and notice the cues from their nervous system. With awareness comes regulation, and with regulation comes deeper sleep—blissful sleep that is your innate right.
3. Not Completing the Stress Cycle
Most people don’t realize that removing a stressor is not the same as removing stress from the body. Paying a bill or meeting a deadline takes the trigger away, but stress hormones can still linger in the system.
Common ways to complete the stress cycle include walking, exercise, yoga, dancing, stretching, and even crying. But other lesser-known options work beautifully too: hugging, kissing, singing, drawing, coloring, praying, and partaking in meaningful connection.
Simple ways to finish your stress cycle today:
Take a short walk around your neighborhood.
Call a friend while preparing dinner.
Write in your gratitude journal as you sip your favorite drink.
Create a gentle evening routine with breathwork, meditation, or prayer.
The activity that helps finish the stress cycle will be different for each of us. What matters most is that your body receives it as supportive and soothing.
4. Not Getting Morning Sunlight
One of the most natural ways to reset your sleep-wake cycle is to bathe your body in sunlight first thing in the morning. Early rays help regulate cortisol, which gives you steady daytime energy and cues your body to produce melatonin later in the day. Morning sunlight is essentially your body’s start button for restful sleep.
A common mistake people make is taking their morning walk with sunglasses on. While sunglasses are essential for eye protection when the sun is intense, wearing them too early in the day can reduce the amount of natural light your brain receives. This light helps synchronize your internal clock.
Try getting a few minutes of direct, natural light (without looking directly at the sun) before reaching for your shades so your body can fully benefit from this powerful reset.
5. Underestimating Movement
Movement is essential for healthy sleep, and it doesn’t require joining a gym or running miles. You simply need enough activity throughout the day to help your body use up its stored energy and signal to your brain that it should begin the melatonin-creation process in the evening.
Simple ways to add more movement to your day:
Park a little farther away or take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Work in focused chunks of time, then take a five-minute break to walk or stretch.
Do a gentle stretch before meals.
Walk around the house while you’re on a call.
Add a short dance or movement break between tasks.
Think of movement as burning the day’s fuel so your body understands that it’s safe to unwind, shut down, and recharge at night. When paired with morning sunlight, it becomes a powerful reset for your internal clock.
6. Keeping the Same Routine All Year
Nature changes season by season and so do your sleep needs. Many people forget that winter often requires more rest than summer, and lifestyle changes—such as travelling, celebrating holidays, going on school breaks, or fulfilling social obligations—can also affect energy levels.
For example, I function well with eight hours of sleep in the summer, but I need nine in winter. It took me years to understand this, and now I plan accordingly.
When days get shorter, ask yourself: What gentle adjustments can I make to support more rest?
7. Not Putting Yourself First
Shame, disappointment, and sadness over past choices are among the heaviest emotional burdens we carry, and I’ve felt them too. There was a time when I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror for these reasons. But self-forgiveness isn’t about excusing what happened; it’s about freeing your present. Without it, those old moments turn into the stories that keep you awake at night.
You also don’t have to keep replaying your past as if it were a lifelong punishment. You are both the director of your story and the main character. When you place yourself back at the top of your own list, everything shifts. Let self-forgiveness, love, and mindfulness guide your path.
As you begin to listen to your intuition and honor your gut feelings, you will find yourself living and sleeping differently and will be encouraged to prioritize yourself over and over again.
8. Trying to Do Everything Alone
If your car or computer broke down, you wouldn’t try to fix it yourself—you’d reach out to an expert who knows what they’re doing. The same holds true for your mental, emotional, and sleep health: support, guidance, and community make a big difference.
Wellness is deeply personal. What works well for someone else may not work for you, and the real journey is learning your own body instead of chasing every trend or quick fix. I often meet clients who have spent years trying to figure things out by themselves. Their effort is admirable, but many describe the experience as swimming against the current—exhausting, discouraging, and unsustainable.
Healing isn’t meant to be a solo path. As a sleep coach, I rely on a trusted circle of therapists, specialists, and mentors who help me support others more effectively. When you allow yourself to be supported, you move with the current instead of against it—and everything becomes easier, gentler, and more aligned.
Let Your Past Choices Be Your Compass
What mistakes have shaped you? What lessons emerged from them? And how can those lessons guide you toward more rest, more clarity, and more self-love?
You have the power to transform your past choices and habits into life-changing lessons.
Your past is not a life sentence; it’s only information. It shows you where you’ve been, what you’ve learned, and how you want to move forward.
Your past can be a compass, a friend, a superpower.
You decide.
by Monica Le Baron
